I Know What I Have. And It’s Not Good.

I know there’s something wrong this time.
Yes, I realize I am in my prime.
But so was she! And her! And him!
Just before they lost a limb…

It’s my lower left intercostal space,
Something feels quite out of place.
Yes, that’s the main symptom, more or less the only sign.
But I just know that it portends a precipitous decline.

No, it started just this morning
which is precisely why it’s so concerning.
The chronic rarely swiftly kill
Only acute conditions fit that bill.

I’ve drawn up a differential:
Acute lymphoma has potential;
It could be genetic, hemolytic.
You know, I think my grandma was arthritic…

Feel free to palpate, percuss, and auscultate.
Please, do your own search of Up-To-Date.
I think you’ll find that it’s no use,
This illness is just far too abstruse.

Fatal? Yes. Of that I’m sure.
I learned in class that there’s no cure.
No, it’s not easy to admit,
But I think this really might be it.

Such a shame we won’t be hanging out again.
But enough of me, how have you been?
I heard your sneeze when you came in,
And I must say, the prognosis may be grim…

A student at UUSOM, class of 2020. He enjoys reading, writing, and music, and is well trained in the science of self-diagnosis.