Scribbling, humming, tattoo on the corner of her eye
Me, medical student, first year, trying to smile
A couple of questions
She tells me her life
A cycle of abuse, trauma, addiction, uncertainty
What to do, how to change, where to find a guiding light
So much hope and pain and soul
Condensed into something relevant for OB/Gyn
Save the rest for another time, another field
As we cannot help them all.
Typing, jotting down notes, all sounds blur
Me, medical student, first year, trying to close the night
…PMH of…presents with…problem 1…
Sudden sobs jolting me
Family running away, tears in their eyes from
Bad news told worse—their hopes diminish and die
We simmer, stew in the guilt, then shrug
Go forth with our lives
As we cannot help them all.
But why am I here
Me, medical student, first year, trying to survive
Why do I waste away, burn my eyes with the screen lights
Why do I imprint words into my mind
Lock my heart in a box
For an image, a pristine white coat
Two more letters to my two-letter names
If not to
Help them all.