“We need to talk”
The attending said that before berating me
“You’re never home”
Reminder to send a referral to that nursing home
“You’ve been so distant”
My patient can’t travel from their rural home for treatment
“I need more”
My oncology patient begging for more time
“Don’t you remember how it used to be?”
The Memory Care patient’s family reminding them of who they are
“Are you even listening to me?”
I look at them
Tears produced in their lacrimal gland,
stimulated by their greater petrosal nerve begin to fall
Once there was a time seeing them hurt would have brought tears to my own eyes
But they’re gone, I used them all up, on:
The code who didn’t wake up
The domestic abuse patient
The hands I held as they passed
The child I couldn’t save
“What happened to us?”
Trauma patient questioning why them
“I can’t keep doing this”
After their 3rd round of chemo
“I’m leaving you”
I need to leave to go study
