I am haunted
Followed by a ghost down bustling hospital hallways

It is drawn to the white coat that wears me
I see glimpses of its shadow in the yellowing of a patient’s skin and the rasp of smoker’s cough

The ghost draws my attention to common items in hospital rooms
The texture of a chair so painfully familiar beneath my fingertips
The fabric pattern makes my gut clench and eyes water

I hear whispers hidden in the white noise of oxygen tubing and alarming IV’s
Hidden in the darkness, I carry with me

~Sweetheart, have I told you how much I love you today? ~

Tears soak my cheeks
I wish I could disappear, but my white coat is bright and blinding

I leave the room, head down and gasping for breath
Sinking to my knees in the first place I find empty, sobs escaping

“No, Dad… you haven’t, how much do you love me?”

The response is silence
But still, I am haunted

The memory a man with his hands held wide, saying “this much!” unrelenting

Lindsey Nae Wright is a member of the University of Utah School of Medicine class of 2022. She completed her undergraduate degree at the University of Utah in Medical Anthropology and minored in Pediatric Research. In her free time, she enjoys to travel, hike, and practice yoga. She loves to sample fancy cheese and drink coffee. 

Rubor Participation:
2020 Poem, Painting "Yellow"
2020 Poem, "Haunted"
2019 Poem, "Mourning's Glory"