Hopeless (1)

Shivering in anticipation
While dreading the reality
A daily battle between the
Stretched over quaking bones
And the
Bull’s eye
Placed over my dreams
Hope itches and burns, rouses and consumes
Resignation soothes and softens, numbing indiscriminately
How uncomfortable do I want to be?
The more I strive the more I fall
And as bruises coalesce and fester
I softly sink into resignation
And tell myself it’s self-care
Discomfort makes me strong
But feels unsustainable
Wake my soul?
Sleep my soul
March on toward new horizons knowing that
Drenching rain or blistering sun
I will feel fully and painfully
Settle into a comfortable cove
Watch as moss covers my dreams and soothes the despair of hope
And abandon new horizons
Exhaustingly, each moment feels like a crossroads
And although I am surrounded
With strength and kindness and goodness
I start each path entirely alone

MED '21

Cait's interests include intersectional feminism and the great outdoors. When she is not in clinic, she can usually be found in the mountains listening to a book.

Rubor Participation:
2021 Poems, "Hopeless"